Ultimate Stoner Sanctuary: Designing Your Dream Vape Room

What Does Your Dream Vape Room Look Like?

Do you remember that game from times of yore where you would write (aging ourselves) five different cars, types of residence, amounts of money, and life partner and then roll to see which ones you end up with? For however awesome people say being a kid in the 80s was, we’d still prefer a PS5 and now that we’re grown and have money to buy things instead of hoping and wishing for what we want, as Geddy Lee would say(ish) “choose to decide!”

So, here we are, grown ass adults thinking about childhood, when we should really start thinking about those mid-teen years when we started enjoying the ganja and would wonder what our stoned rooms would look like in the future; clearly, they must be better than a patio set in a toolshed, right? Well, we can’t speak for you, but ours is. Much, much better. We’re going to do this MTV Cribs style and walk you through our vape room, where the magic is made. No rules for this one, just all of the stuff we’d use to decorate and furnish a comfortable, entertaining area to enjoy your cannabis.

The Classics – Lamps, Beads and Comfort

Let’s start with some of the classics first, your must have items whether you were smoking doobies in the 70s or vaping the finest of buds in the 20s. At the top of the list of expected adornments is a Lava Lamp, every stoner’s favourite light source. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this notable piece of kitsch, a lava lamp is a decorative light fixture that consists of a glass container filled with a clear or coloured liquid and wax. When you turn it on, a light bulb at the base heats the wax, causing it to melt and rise. As the wax cools, it falls back down, creating a continuous cycle of blobs rising and falling in the liquid. This creates a soothing and visually appealing display that can add a relaxing ambiance to any room. Plus, they’re cool to watch while stoned.

The next classic on our list is the venerable Bead Curtain. The Bead Curtain doesn’t bring anything fancy to the party, just a vibe. This room divider adds a touch of retro style to your room and are available made of different materials and different sized beads to add some uniqueness to your space. Beaded Curtains let in filtered light and when combined with a big vape cloud, it’s just really satisfying to look at. The beads do add that nice clicky-clack for the audio ambience as well and are versatile, working with a tonne of styles.

Some picks might be obvious, but that isn’t necessarily bad; you can’t have a vape space without having an Incense set up. Even if you aren’t a huge fan of scents, there’s just a certain thing about having an incense burner set up in your room that says “yes, I enjoy weed and I’d love to talk to you about it.” This 4” incense holding bowl is manufactured in Japan and has a beautiful finish that will gain a pleasant patina as it ages.

Hear us out: Human Dog Bed

It would be easy to make the obvious choice for proper stoned seating and grab a bean bag chair, but unlike lava lamps and bead curtains, there’s actually a better solution now, the human dog bed. We’re not sure if there’s many more comfortable looking scenarios available than a dog laid right out in its bed, well now there’s a way to replicate it. This super cozy bed is designed for the ultimate in floor lying sophistication, and you can’t beat the aesthetic for a room designed around comfort and enjoying the simpler things in life. The model we’ve chosen measures 71''x 45''x 12'', has a non-slip bottom and includes a pillow, a blanket, and a pocket to place your favourite low effort vape. As easy to clean as it is to settle into, the human dog bed is the next level of relaxation, perfect for a quick weed nap.

More Tech than a Radio Shack

We love the classics, and we bet most stoners have an eye towards nostalgia, because truly, things were better when we were young. Well, not tech. Tech is much, much better now and the perfect way to complement the essentials you used to start of your room is with some premier, capable technology that you’ll actually use.

If you don’t have a TV, then you have nothing to point your furniture at and that could cause all sorts of problems. We’re a big fan of this TV, a from Sony. The 4K HDR TV features the X1 Processor for smooth, clear visuals with rich colors and detailed contrast. TRILUMINOS Pro technology delivers over a billion accurate colors for a natural, lifelike picture. With Google TV and Google Assistant, you can easily access content from top streaming services and stream from Apple devices via AirPlay 2 as well. It features Dolby Vision and Atmos for an immersive cinematic experience and is optimized for gaming, offering a centralized Game Menu and exclusive PlayStation 5 enhancements. Offered in a handful of sizes, this is a big, sexy TV with a slim bezel and great picture.

If you have the Sony TV, you need the Sony gaming console, that’s just a rule. The newer model of their current system, the PS5 Slim (Digital) is our choice for gaming. We have this TV and PlayStation and just love that if you turn the TV off, the PS5 turns off or if you turn the PS5 on and both devices were off, the TV will come on too. Neat. Anyway, we don’t need to tell you much about the PS5. It is the most powerful gaming console with a slew of first party games that look amazing in 4K. You’re going to want to expand from the base kit with a second controller and a headset as well.  This DualSense Edge Controller is Sony’s customizable version of the remote you’re used to. From extra paddles on the back to mappable buttons, the Edge will raise your gaming to the next level. Yes, we just said that. Sony’s Pulse Elite Bluetooth headset can last for up to 30 hours without needing a charge and can connect to multiple devices seamlessly so that you can answer a phone call while continuing to game.

While the lava lamp is nice to look at, you’ll want a light setup that works well with your electronics, too. Phillips is a respected brand in home electronics and their Hue light system is so customizable that it can match the colours and sound pulses from what you’re watching on TV. First, you’re going to want to replace your current light bulbs with a 3 pack of the Phillips Hue Smart 60W bulb. You’ll need to connect these with a Hue Bridge for maximum compatibility, but they’ll also work with the Bluetooth on your phone, it’s really a preference thing: do you want to use the Apple, Google, Amazon or Hue app? The next piece for this set is the Philips Hue Play HDMI Sync Box. This device connects with the Bridge, a light source like the 6” Strip Light that is ideal for connecting to the back of your TV for the best use of the HDMI Sync Box. Essentially, the Sync Box works as an HDMI passthrough that will send signals from the HDMI cable into the light source. It’s really cool to see it live and the vibe perfectly encapsulates what we’re looking for in lights.

Another option we love for visual stimulation is this sweet galaxy light from BlissLights. Essentially, this is one of those projectors you’ve seen a million times on Instagram that casts a scene of a nebulous galaxy in 360º for a room sized up to 900 square feet. This is both a great supplementary light set up and a sound primary option as well. Pair it with the lava lamp or Hue system or use it on its own from the specialized app that lets you customize your scene over Wi-Fi.

We think that we’ve got the visual part of the lounge figured out, so let’s go through the audio gear and wrap up our electronic journey. For a speaker system, we went with the keep it simple solution. As you may be using your Pulse headset for gaming, you may not want to spend all your coin on a 7.1 audio system. We love this Bose single speaker setup that is specifically geared towards enhanced dialogue. Bose is well known for quality audio and this speaker eliminates one of the most common issues we’re seeing on modern sound mixing for tv: it’s hard to hear what people are saying. No more! To ensure there’s no delay, the speaker connects to your TV through an included optical cable and will accept a Bluetooth connection from any of your devices as well. Neat and clean.

Round it Out with Odds and Ends

We imagine that is an electronics setup that would make even Stan BestBuy himself happy. Let’s finish up this room with the odd and ends that’ll take your vape room from good to great.

Knowing stoners, we should’ve started the blog with this one but are glad to give it its due: the venerable Black + Decker Dust Buster. Your parents had one, their parents probably had one, and if there’s people left after our generation, I’m sure they’ll be making their super mutant hide outs out of the still operating innards of the remaining Dust Busters; you’ll need one for your cockroach fight. This specific model is a beast with a 20V Lithium battery that’s rated for pet hair. It comes with a washable filter, and a removable motorized head to pick up the finest of spilled buds. You’re going to knock things over. We know you. You will get more use out of this Dust Buster than you do out of your lighter, believe it.

If you’re going to clean the ground, clean the air, too. The Blueair Pure Max air filter features enhanced HEPASilent performance for faster cleaning and less noise. It effectively cleans large spaces (up to 1,116 sq ft in 30 minutes) using dual filtration technology that removes 99.97% of airborne particles down to 0.1 microns and traps household odors. The Blueair smart app offers customizable features like scheduling, air quality monitoring, and Alexa voice control, while its intuitive display and simple controls make operation easy. The Blue Pure 311i+ Max Genuine Replacement Filter ensures optimal performance. If Storz & Bickel made an air filter, it would work this well, but be black.

Amazon calls this an “Independence Tray” … we’re going to suggest it as an “articulated side tray for vaping purposes and maybe drinks if you’re in a pinch”. This device has an oversized bamboo tray that’s 20” x 15”, includes a cup holder, a utensil compartment and a storage organizer for your remotes and what not. The tray swivels 360º, holds up to 30 pounds and the base is super stable, letting you even get up using the tray as support. This may make you feel like a senior, but a swivel out weed tray just sounds like good thinking to us.

You know how there’s always that one guy at the lake who keeps playing Wonderwall and just won’t stop? We all know that guy. That guy sucks. Don’t be that guy. While a ukelele is a perfectly adequate to start your journey with stringed instruments, don’t overlook this collaboration from Loog and Fender, a beauty little starter guitar that plays like a Fender and looks like a Telecaster. This little guy has 20 frets, three strings and one pickup and measures just under 30” long. Loog pairs their music learning app and chord flash cards with the guitar, so you’ll be able to learn how to play the right way. Make sure you grab a stand, too!

There you have it, our current dream vape room setup. We admit, we could have gone full bore and had like diamond chalices and the Onyx Sofa from Peugeot, but instead, we’ve put together a great collection of items that you can easily piece together to represent your own unique style. Hopefully, there’s a little in here for everyone. If there’s any other themes that you’d like to see us take on, give us a shout!

Till then, keep it green, keep it sneaky.